Break Free

Brooke slammed the door and threw herself on her bed breathing heavily as she fumed with anger. She did not understand why she always found herself overreacting even in the simplest of situations, this was not how every other normal human being behaved, was it? She could hear her heart thumping loudly in her ears and so fast, she could hardly catch a breath. She had to admit that something was seriously wrong here! She had an anger problem and the sooner she admitted it and accepted it, the better she could deal with it. On a normal and typical day for Brooke, she was usually very sweet and down to earth until something unpleasant sparked her short fuse and she would totally lose control of herself. She heaved in a deep sigh of frustration and cupped her head in her palms and wondered if there was a way she could break out of this……….

Brooke like so many of us may have habits or temperaments that may seemingly be ‘controlling’ and so hard to break out of…maybe a hot temper, a critical spirit, an unforgiving spirit or a habit of telling small white lies……and there are many reasons we would correctly and accurately justify why this is so! Maybe you may have grown up in an abusive home, may have been disappointed so many times by loved ones, rejected, misunderstood or ridiculed, the list is endless! Situations too real to ignore that you have created a ‘defensive mechanism’ to survive the impact of your past. I love what Gary Smalley says, ‘No matter what your past, no matter how much pain you have ploughed through…even small personal changes can have such a huge positive impact on your life!’ It is a choice you make! You can have better relationships and enjoy a better state of thoughts and emotions. Remember, you may not know exactly what to do but give it over to the one who does- Jesus Christ- take one step at a time and do the next right thing even though you may not know what step 2 will be……

As Brooke pondered over her life, she realised that her hot temper was as a result of unresolved anger that she had harboured so deeply within towards her parents who had ended up in a bitter divorce- she felt angry that she was caught up in the middle of all this and that it wasn’t her fault that she was so angry! And so anger had become her reaction to everything she perceived as unfair in her life but this was destroying her and pushing away people who really cared for her. Without another thought, Brooke dropped to her knees and allowed her herself to weep unrestrainedly for the first time as she cried out to God for His mercy and asked Him to help her change! She could not do anything to change her painful past but she could choose the quality of her emotions presently and in the future, and forever respond differently to the life that had no doubt been imposed on her but would no longer control her!

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