Stop For Me

“Arg!” Vanessa screeched as she slammed a book on her desk.

It was another busy day at the Business firm that she worked at, but she could not get herself to concentrate for what seemed like the hundredth attempt of reading the same line over and over again.

“Okay, maybe I’m just a little stressed,” she said to herself as she stood up and picked up her bag and began to pack up her things.

“No,” she said to herself as she put them back on her desk, “still got a zillion things to do.”

“Vanessa,” someone said as they opened the door to her little office that just seemed a little more crammed with things than she would have liked.

“What!” she snapped.

“I’m sorry, did I catch you at a bad time? I can always come back later,” Sharon said as she retreated with an apologetic look on her face.

“No, I’m sorry Sharon,” Vanessa apologized to her best friend who had been taken a-back by her reaction. “Please come in.”

“Having a bad day?”

“Bad day would be an understatement, I feel like I’ve been blown over by a hurricane.”

“Girl you need a life! You sit in here hours a day working with papers stashed all around you like there is nothing else to live for! Vanessa, everybody knows you are the best administrator…,” Sharon raved on.

“Worldwide Business consultant,” Vanessa corrected.

“Whatever, you’ve proved it, you’ve earned it, your work shows for it and everybody respects you, but when are you going to learn to manage your own life?”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that, if I need counseling I think I know where to get it. What are you doing here anyway? You know I’m not done with work until 7pm.”

“Exactly my problem, I thought you would want to take a break now because I have a date later and I didn’t want to scrap off my best friend from my program unlike others do when they have impromptu executive meetings.”

“No Sharon, you are not at it again, my life is perfectly fine the way it is and if I need an assistant to help run my life I think I can arrange for it, ok!” Vanessa retorted. “You think you can help run my life just because you think you know everything about me and what I can or should not do!”

“Hey, easy there, whatever happened to some best friend advice?” Sharon said with a look of disappointment in her eyes at Vanessa’s reaction. “All I’m trying to say is that I have your best interests at heart, it’s great to cultivate a great career but you also need to focus your energy on really living, loving, learning and leaving a legacy, and in order to do that, you need to just stop for a moment. Talk to Jesus, who knows you better than anyone else.”

Sharon gently placed her hand on Vanessa’s and squeezed it warmly.

“I’ve got to run, you know where to find me if you need me.”

Vanessa held her face in her hands and allowed tears to freely fall down her face after Sharon left. She sobbed softly.  She felt guilty for always snapping at Sharon who thank God was all too patient with her. Besides, Sharon was right, she had successfully learnt how to manage everything and everybody else but her own life. She felt burnt out from trying to keep up with staying on top of things and keeping her ‘successful image’. Her heart was filled with mixed emotions that not even she could understand or express. In the eyes of everybody she had it all going for her at only 30, with a beautiful house, car and a thriving career. But feelings of inadequacy constantly gnawed at her soul. No matter how hard she worked or how much she acquired, she felt like she just would never arrive at the place where she wanted to go, if she even knew where that place was. Vanessa pulled out her Bible from her desk drawer and flipped to Isaiah 40:31

“They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength…they shall mount up on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.”

For the longest moment she sat still and breathed in the comfort of God’s Word and presence. She let the eyes of her heart fix on the One who truly loved and knew her.

“Daughter, I am with you. I approve of you.You don’t have to measure up. Come away with me and wait on me. You will run with my strength when you learn to stop for me. I will give you wisdom beyond what any man could ever give you.”

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